dragging the already sore feet up the flight of stairs which almost seemed never ending. being pulled down by a dont know how heavy bag simply made things worst. along that dim litted a lonely figure ponders upon the night sky. looking as the world passes by him, focusing his mind only on the beauty of nature. picturing the previous scenes on the crowded bus when people simply passed him by with a tug, barely noticing him. it was no different from his present situation.

he was unnoticed.

flashing back to the times in which he spend most time on, to the amount of effort he has put into it, the amount of determination it took to get him this far. today's result was an utter disappoint, a totally unexpected defeat. it was both demoralising and depressing for someone who devoted most of his past two years in the sport he believed he could excel him. all his hopes literally came crashing down on him. no one around him seemed to understand the situation he is in. no one's there, no one like to share. life never got worst.

a thought flashed across the mind.

it goes.
if i were to die,
i won't want my loved one beside me.

for she'll cry over the sad occasion and probably not get over it for sometime.

if i were to die,
i won't want to be thrown into the sea.

for the fishes will die.

if i were to die,
i would start running, as far as my leg can take me

for its the last time i'm here.

if i were to die,
i would die jumping off a cliff

for no one will have anything to be sad about.

if i were to die,
i would break all relationships with everyone,and become a loner.

for its loneliness that i leave this world.

here i leave.